Not His To Love
by tellmamatobuggeroff
Summary: Six months ago, her knocking at his door wouldn't have surprised him. Then again, six months ago she hadn't been pregnant with his baby. Now, they barely spoke and he couldn't even begin to guess at what she might need this late at night.


**This story is dedicated to K. Elizabeth because her stories both pissed me off and inspired me to write sooooooo much. They only pissed me off because they were so well written (*cough*jealousofher*cough*) and………. Well, it wouldn't be any fun if I told you. So, if you want to know why I LOVE K. Elizabeth so much, look her up and read her stories. BTW: I haven't ever met her or talked to her. Just love her stories. **

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own Bones. If I did, the cliché coma thing may have never happened and they'd be married and have about forty little babies by now. **

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Not His To Love

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He walked to his SUV, the big black gas guzzler that made him feel powerful. He slid in, heaving a sigh that (over the past few months) had become a rhythm. He started up the vehicle and pulled out of the Hoover parking lot, then turned toward his favorite Thai restaurant. The one he used to share with _her_, before………. that happened. He ordered his usual in a takeout bag and left for his home. His cold and lonely home.

He had barely been home for forty-five minutes when there was an almost hesitant knock on his front door. He sat up, setting the plate of Thai he hadn't been eating on the coffee table in front of him, then he went to his door and opened it, not sure of who it could be.

Of all the people in the world that could have come knocking on his door, he had never imagined it would be _her_. Maybe six months ago he wouldn't have been surprised, but now they barely even spoke to each other at work. But, six months ago, she hadn't been pregnant with his child.

"Bones." He said, surprise evident in his voice. She stared at him, then looked down.

"Yes." She said quietly, not usual for her.

"Did you, you know, need anything?" He asked tentatively.

"I want to talk to you." She mumbled, barely projecting her voice enough for it to be audible.

"I see. Well, come in." He said lamely, at a loss for what she could want. She had been pushing him away since being inseminated and it was killing him. But, she needed space, as always, so he gave it to her. He moved away from the door to let her in and felt tears spring to his eyes as she almost waddled past him, not quite there but so close.

"I've felt……… very alone these last six months." She said quietly as she moved to stand by the window, resting her forearms on the ledge. The blinds had been pulled up and she watched the city flow by as she waited for his response.

"Oh." Was his only reply. And then, "Why?"

At this, she whirled around in fury.

"Why?! Booth, you've been pushing me away! You barely speak to me, you barely look at me! It's killing me." She said, almost pleadingly.

"What? You-you needed space! You were pushing _me_ away!" He sputtered, frustrated.

"I- I. No. I have not been!" She exclaimed. "I- I have n- oh. I have." She finished in a whisper. "I didn't mean to, Booth."

"It's alright, Bones. Jeez! Don't cry." He said, feeling his heart break at the sight of tears and wondering if the feeling of loneliness really had been that strong.

"Sorry." She mumbled, wiping her cheeks. "Damn hormones."

Again, he felt frozen. It always ended up like this. He tried to go talk to her, push her out of her avoidance of him, when it was brought up. Her pregnancy. The one that would give her a little baby with his brown- almost black- eyes, his dark hair, her curls, his 'pleasing symmetry', her smile, a little piece of him, a little piece of her. And his eyes filled with tears again, and he found himself cursing the person- God, of course- who had invented tear ducts.

"What's wrong, Booth?" She said, looking slightly alarmed as she observed his tear filled eyes. She had never seen him like this. Usually, he got emotional over emotional stuff, but this was just her. He blinked quickly and his eyes cleared.

"Nothing." He said quickly, clearing his throat.

"You're lying." She murmured, moving closer to him. He stepped back, though, stunning her.

"It's nothing Bones." He said, his voice sharp.

"Tell me." She demanded, her voice as sharp as his.

He stared at her, his jaw clenching and unclenching. Then, he decided he was done. He decided that he was sick of this dance of seclusion. It was time for it to be over.

"It's you." He said gruffly. Her face became confused. "Not you. Us. But not us, either. It's a little piece of you, and a little piece of me, and it will never be mine to love." He said, almost whispering hoarsely. Her eyes widened in understanding and her hands automatically pressed against the baby bump that resided on her midsection. "You want to be a single mom. I was just a donor, I know. But dammit Bones, I never expected to feel like this. I don't how I didn't see it, but I didn't. I didn't expect to grow more and more sad and lonely as I watched. As I watched from the _outside_. It was almost as if you were on one side of a glass partition, and I was on the other and no matter what I did, you couldn't see me. You couldn't hear me. You _didn't_ see me. You didn't see me when I couldn't handle watching you and Angela the other day, when she was feeling the baby kick, something I should have done." By now, _he_ was the one leaning against the ledge of the window, his head hanging. "You didn't see me leave before I could tell you we had a case. You didn't see me cry- yes, cry- when I realized that we would never be us again. It would never be you and me, Booth and Bones, against the world, again." He whispered.

And then he felt her arms wrap around his waist. He felt her face press against his back, felt her body meld to his in a way that made him shiver.

"I'm sorry." He heard her choke out. "I didn't know. I thought- I didn't think you would want-…….. You were just so distant, so cold, and I was too! It was like a vicious circle. You thought I needed space, I thought you did. That made you avoid me more, and me avoid you, and you avoid me, and me avoid you, and so on. I didn't know." She finished, breathing out the last sentence.

Hesitantly, he turned around, letting her snuggle into his chest.

"Want to start over?" He whispered against the top of her head where his lips were currently pressed. He felt her arms squeeze him _that_ much tighter.

"More than you know." She breathed. He pulled back and smiled at her, then dropped to his knees so that he was eye level with her belly.

"Hi baby." He said to the bump. "I'm your daddy, and I love you very much." He grinned, placing his hands gently against the sides of her stomach, flashing a quick smile toward Bones' grinning face, and then placing his forehead against her stomach, still speaking. "I love your mommy too, even though she doesn't know it yet. Shhhhhh……. don't tell her-" And with that, he was promptly kicked in the forehead by said baby. Bones burst into laughter.

"She wants you to tell me, I think. But don't worry, I already know." Bones said with a gentle smile. Booth, who was touching his forehead lightly, beamed up at her.

"We have a soccer player there, Bones, and I don't care if you already know, I'm gonna tell you anyway." With those words, he promptly stood up, pulled her into him, kissed her firmly then murmured a gentle, "I love you."

She smiled at him.

"I love you, too. And, she can be yours to love as well as mine, if you want." She finished shyly. His face split into a grin.

"I want that, and you of course, more than anything."

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**Well, that was a bit fluffier at the end than I had planned, but I think it turned out okay anyway. I know, I'm a might bit late for a EiTB fanfic, but you'll all eventually get over it. Tell me how it was please!**


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